Signing off
Well I figured I would wrap up the whole experience, even though I havent wanted to think about it much lately. Then tell you where the future is going to take me. So I lost, I didnt live up to the guarentees I put forth. I have to keep being reminded that making the Olympics in the first place is a great accomplishment. It isn’t the first time I haven’t lived up to a guarantee I put out and it probably wont be the last. When asked a question I will tell you exactly what I think without pulling any punches and I hope you can appreciate that. I always saw the pressure Cael was under and imagined what it would be like, I have no idea of knowing what 159-0 pressure is, but I have gotten to the point in the sport where I have to win everything all the time. This pressure is inflicted by myself, but it can really wear me out, I can understand why Cael wanted to be done.
As far as my future goes I am not sure about it yet, I know two things for sure. I will be going on two vacations in September, they are well needed and deserved. Secondly I will be at the University of Missouri until Max graduates. It is a promise I made him when he came to Mizzou is that I would be there as long as he would. I knew I needed him to reach my pinnacle and I want to do the same for him. He has been a big part of any title run I have made in my life. A lot of people insist I should go elsewhere to train, but I gave him my word and keeping my word is more important than anything tangible could be.
I might fight, I might wrestle, I am not really sure right now. Lets get one thing straight though, MY decision isn’t based on monetary gain, I am doing pretty well for myself wrestling. Sure I am not getting rich, but who does wrestling to get rich? Would my life be easier if I got more than a measley $7,500 stipend from USA wrestling for the whole year for being the #1 guy? Of course it would, but I really dont know if that would translate into me being a better wrestler. I have wanted to fight for a long time and it isn’t because of the money, it is because I think it would be fun and it would be a great challenge. Am I upset because there is a chance I will have a large monetary gain from it? You must be crazy.
So I will drive home to Columbia today, I am so excited to be back, China just wasn’t for me. I hope you appreciate that fact that I share my innermost thoughts with you and you can refrain yourself from childishly deriding what I think. Have a great day, I will.
Ben